Being a Punjabi

Punjabis have a unique reputation in the world. We have our own language, our own music, and our own dance. Even though, Bhangra is not a sequence of any co-ordinated movements, but it is some sort of entertainment. You can tell that people are having fun. Which is good enough for Punjabis.

Punjabis are known for their open-heartedness and their straight-forwardness. If they love you, they will make sure that you know this, your dad knows this, your mom knows this, and whoever sits or breathes in your periphery knows this. If they hate you, don't worry, they will tell you that too.

Punjabis are open. Open all the way. As my friend Kasim rejoices the phrase everytime it comes up, "Khullay khao tay nangay nahao". Phrases. Yes, I love punjabi phrases. These phrases encapsulate the wisdom of hundreds of years. They are simple, elegant (I have to think about this one), and to-the-point. Yes, sometimes too to-the-point.

Punjabis have an inherited talent. They can use very crude words with affection. For example, if a punjabi is trying to greet you, he would just say "Oye". If a punjabi thinks you are lying, he would tell you honestly, "Bakwaas bund kar". If he doesn't like you, he'll say, "Fitay Moonh". If a punjabi is proud of you, he'll say, "Ah mera Sher!!". If he is not so proud, he'll say, "Paray mar".

Not to forget that Punjabis are very good at calculus. They take a derivative of every name. If your name is Pervaiz, for example, it will be a simple 'Peja' in Punjabi. An Iqbal would be a 'Bala', and a Rasheed would be a 'Sheeda'. Punjabis also have the equivalent of english names. When a Punjabi says Jaarj Bursh, he is basically trying to refer to George Bush.

The best part about being a punjabi is that we have excellent conflict resolution techniques. Not to mention we are also experts at creating conflicts--but we are looking at the bright side today. No matter how bad the arguement gets, punjabis have a magic phrase that can calm the storm. It evaporates all the turmoil and people go back to normal life. And that is "Mitti pao". Amazing, isn't it?

My favorite? My favorite is when a punjabi makes you really mad, he then uses his best technique to make it over. We call it the J&P technique. See, no matter how mad one gets at a punjabi, all he needs to do is a J&P: A japphi and a pappi. ;)